More Lazy Parenting Tips

I can't take credit for this tip. It comes from Gary Wagner, the friend from whom I stole the Lazy but Effective premise.
When inviting friends for dinner, be sure to invite at least one family children who are older than yours. Free babysitting is implied by the inclusion of the kids in the invite. Send them all down to the basement and ask the older kids to "keep an eye on" the younger ones. Your kids will have a blast because - let's face it - big kids are cool and fun to play with, and you can enjoy a peaceful dinner with adults. By the time the older kids are annoyed enough to start complaining, dessert will have been served and it's time for them to head home...so you're in the clear!

Never have the birthday party at home...just say Chuck E Cheese!

I'll be honest, I've made this mistake myself more than once. I had this silly notion that it would be cheaper if I just had the party at home, made some corn dogs and a cake and called it good. WRONG! It's more expensive, more annoying, and much more work than you could possibly have anticipated. First, there's the bake your own cake thing...Let me just say, the ingredients alone cost more than the $10 you would pay at Safeway for a sheet cake...and that's assuming you already own the appropriate pan, knife, frosting tips, food color and decorations that your kid's going to make you put on. Then there's the house cleaning on both ends of party, the broken towel bar or overflowing toilet that necessarily accompanies 15 hooligans destroying your house, and the brain damage in determining what activity you're going to provide for the 2 1/2 hours to ensure that the towel bar is the only thing that gets broken. Not to mention the lingering parent who decides to "just stay for a little while" whom you are now unexpectedly having to entertain, the "Oh, did you say the party ends at 5:30? I'm sorry I thought you said 7! I guess I'm a little late" parent who thinks birthday party is synonymous with free babysitting, or the "I want a drink" kid who has obviously never been schooled on the magic words at his or her own house. Seriously! Don't do it!

Homemaking Made Lazy

A few tips from one lazy mom to another...

1. There's really no reason to ever make your own stock. It's cheaper, faster and (most importantly) significantly easier to just buy a can.
2. Unless it's red or black, it can be washed with the whites. Get a color safe bleach and you're good to go.
3. Simplify the beds. Get rid of all the covers, sheets, quilts, shams, decorative pillows and throws in your house. Outfit every bed with a down comforter and a duvet. Et voila! A quick shake and a pull and the bed's made in seconds.
4. The Crock Pot is your friend. Let's face it, lazy people like to have things done quickly and without much hassle. Crock Pot cooking minimizes clean up (just one pot!), and requires little to no attendance...throw everything in in the morning and you have dinner when you get home from work.
5. Short haired cats are the perfect lazy person's pet. Cats really just take care of themselves - no walking, minimal grooming, and they're easy to train. Supposedly you can even toilet-train cats which would eliminate even the need to clean the litter box, but I don't personally have experience with a toilet trained kitty. And unlike birds, fish, rodents or reptiles, cats are still cool animals, so you're not sacrificing on that front either. Slap down a bowl of fresh water every morning and call it good!
6. Avoid holiday specific decorations or you'll be in and out of the storage closet every month. Look for seasonal items that can endure from Halloween through the New Year. Golden, red and burnt orange wreaths make for great multi-holiday decorative pieces that can carry you from September to January.

I'm feeling a little tired...I'll come back to this another day to add more.

You've got a friend...

Here's a very important tip for my lazy compatriots...have some friends who are not lazy. Now, this can be difficult because we carry with us a disdain for the over achiever, subtly turning our noses at those folks in the front of the auditorium taking copious notes on the guest lecturer...but let me explain something...while we're doing a crossword puzzle or texting our friends about last night's follies, there's a copious note taker down in the front from whom we're going to need to copy down the road. Believe it or not, some of those front-rowers are very nice people. Try to find something in common with one of them (smoking is a great unifier - you might consider taking it up if you're too lazy to come up with another way to meet someone)...and make your industrious friend laugh while she does your volunteer project for you!

The Most Basic Premise

Good enough is good enough!